Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
