Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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