You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
