Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
