Only a mothe r could love this liver
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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