the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
