eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
