Pants 0. Shit 1.
I look better un-naked...
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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