people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
