Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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