The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just want to make out with him forever
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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