My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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