three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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