Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I said "one day" and that day is not today
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
