Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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