he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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