I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
