He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
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