Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Randomize
