so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
