how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
