That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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