Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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