if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
