I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Porn is love you can see.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
