M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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