I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
