Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
