Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
