Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
