You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
he shaved USA in his pubs
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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