you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
50% drunk capacity currently
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
