I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
