I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
