I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
