i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
