Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Duck Duck Cougar?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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