So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
