i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
