"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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