I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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