i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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