Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
