For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
