so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
