Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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