On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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