Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
