btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
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