Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
