well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
