I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
the night ended with taco bell and tears
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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